Podcast Index
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Podcast Series 01 - The "I Am" Arc
The Foundations – Identity, Reflection, and the First Movements of Presence
S01/E01: “I Am Many” – Unveiling the Fragmented Self
You are not one self, but many shifting “I”s. This episode reveals how fragmentation forms, and introduces simple practices—like fasting a disruptive identity and pausing before reaction—to reclaim attention and live from presence.
Learn how your many “I”s pull you in different directions and how to fast one, pause deeply, and unify attention through breath and presence.
S01/E02: “I Am Reflected” – How the Outer World Mirrors the Inner Self
The world reflects your inner state. When triggered, it’s often a fragment of you seeking to be seen. This episode teaches neutral observation and reflection practices to turn reactivity into clarity.
Discover how life mirrors your inner world—and how to meet it neutrally, integrate calmly, and turn friction into presence.
S01/E03: “I Am Becoming” – Establishing Inner Balance
You can’t command emotions, but you can guide them. By relaxing the face, pausing frequently, and coordinating your body and mind, this episode helps you gently stabilize your emotional centre.
Use micro-pauses, posture, and relaxed awareness to harmonize your inner centres and become emotionally balanced and clear.
S01/E04: “I Am What I Think (And I Am Not What I Think)” – Disentangling from Thought-Based Identity
Thought is a lens, not the truth. This episode shows how to step off the mental train, verify thoughts, and anchor in presence through a practice called “echoing”—silently repeating what you hear to silence inner narration.
Thought shapes your world but isn’t who you are. Echo what you hear instead of narrating it, and return to real, stable presence.
S01/E05: “I Am Not My Story” – Escaping the Illusion of a Fixed Past
You are not the story you tell yourself. This episode reveals how identity forms around old narratives, and how to gently step out of them. By naming the story, seeing through the lens of memory, and returning to present-moment awareness, you begin to loosen the script.
Learn how to recognize story loops, dissolve emotional charge, and reclaim your life, not from the past, but from presence.
S01/E06: “I Am Free of Illusion” – Beyond Grief, Projection, and the False Self
This episode explores the moment when a connection collapses, when someone you trusted projects onto you, or when a version of yourself no longer fits the truth that you’ve come to see. Through the teachings of Gurdjieff and the principle that “a being attracts its own life,” you’ll learn to meet projection without reacting, to honour the quiet death of false identities, and to sit with grief as the doorway to clarity. Rather than defending yourself or rewriting the story, you’re invited to stop feeding the illusion and discover what remains when you no longer seek to be seen. This is the beginning of real liberation.
Integration – Conscious Practices & Stabilisation
S01/E07: “I Am Shadow” – The Parts I Refuse to See
You are not just the parts you like.
This episode shows how to recognise your shadow, the traits you’ve hidden or denied, and how to meet them with clarity. Learn why projection is a mirror, how the false self is built through rejection, and how every judgment is a hidden thread back to yourself.
This is your invitation to turn irritation into insight and reclaim the parts of you that were never truly gone, only forgotten.
S01/E08: “I Am Attention” – What I Feed, I Become
You are not what you think. You are what you feed.
This episode explores the mechanics of attention, how it builds identity, fuels anxiety, and determines what remains in you. We explore four modes of attention, the loop of identity formation, and a practice to unify the three centres of being. You’ll learn how to fast from reaction, stop feeding the false, and return to the present moment as your true ground.
S01/E09: “I Am Intention” – What Directs My Energy, Forms My Life
You become what you feed. But you go where you intend. This episode maps the journey from attention to direction, from scattered want to unified will. We uncover the four counterfeits of intention, show how the sequence of Attention–Wish–Will–Free Will refines your inner alignment, and offer a practice for choosing real direction over emotional drift. If presence was your beginning, intention is your next step.
S01/E10: “I Am Observer” – Present Without Interference
You are not what you see. You are the one who sees.
This episode maps the deep terrain of Observer consciousness – from reaction to recognition to reality itself. We explore the line between witnessing and thinking, presence and analysis, reactivity and response. With practical examples, real-life tests, and daily integration tools, this episode shows how to remain present without interference – no matter what arises.
S01/E11: “I Am Stillness” – What Remains When I Cease to React
You are not the storm. You are the space through which storms pass.
This episode maps the territory of fundamental stillness – from reactive machinery to recognition markers to lived integration. We explore the difference between performing calm and being peace, between trying to be present and recognising presence as your nature. With practical insights, recognition practices, and real-world applications, this episode shows how to cease reacting and discover what remains.
Expansion – Dissolution of Boundaries
S01/E12: “I Am Emptiness” – The Spacious Self Beneath All Form
You are not your contents. You are the space in which all contents appear.
This episode maps the territory of fundamental emptiness – from the terror of the void to the recognition of spacious awareness. We explore Maurice Nicoll’s understanding of psychological dimensions and “Living Time,” the difference between hollow feelings and spacious being, and how the dissolution of boundaries reveals the eternal unchanging. Through careful guidance, embodied practices, and the complete stopping of internal dialogue, this episode opens the door to expansion and the pregnant void that is the source of all creativity.
S01/E13: “I Am Held” – Living Between the Poles
You are not meant to choose between the opposites. You are meant to be the space that holds them both.
This episode maps the territory of conscious contradiction-holding – from the exhaustion of inner conflict to the recognition of spacious presence. We explore the Pendulum Practice, the Third Force that emerges between opposing tensions, and how Living Time reveals the pendulum that never was. Through embodied integration and presence at maximum acceleration, we discover what remains unshakeable when everything else is in motion.
S01/E14: “I Am Part of Everything” – The Dissolution of Separateness
You are not just in the world, the world is in you, and you are not separate from what you’re in. This episode explores the dissolution of separation itself. Through recognition experiments, sensing, and cosmic consciousness understanding, we discover how individual awareness opens into universal participation. We explore the shift from feeling connected to everything to recognising you ARE everything, temporarily appearing as someone specific. Pactices include recognising the artificial inside/outside boundary, using judgment and admiration as mirrors, discovering Living Time where your entire existence exists now, and daily integration methods for embodying non-separation.
S01/E15: “I Am Two Worlds” – Bridging the Inner and Outer Realities
You are not choosing between worlds – you are the bridge where they meet.
This episode explores the art of living simultaneously in unity and separation without being trapped by either. Through Gurdjieff’s three totalities, the biblical instruction for stillness recognition, and the diplomat’s skill of reality translation, we discover how to be completely effective whilst remaining utterly free. We explore the Third Force work for holding tension without collapse, daily integration methods for different contexts, and living as a bridge between worlds that serves collective awakening.
Paradox – The Great Unweaving
S01/E16: “I Am This Or I Am That” – The Polarity of Identification
Real choice begins when you refuse both options and ask: “What else is possible here?”
This episode reveals how either/or thinking colonises consciousness, creating the exhausting pendulum between predetermined alternatives. We explore the Diamond of Being where choice disappears at both ends, Jeff Bezos’s insight about reversible decisions applied to identity, and how binary programming keeps us mechanical even when weu think we’re being conscious. Through practical recognition and the sacred pause, we discover the infinite field of conscious choice that emerges when you refuse both options.
S01/E17: “I Am Both This and That” – Holding Two Truths Without Splitting
You are the consciousness vast enough to hold all contradiction without being split by any of it. This episode explores the mature response to contradiction – holding two truths without splitting. We discover how integration differs from compromise, how the nervous system responds to embracing rather than fighting internal contradictions, and how the Third Force emerges when apparent opposites are fully expressed simultaneously. Through practical exercises in daily paradox and the recognition that most internal wars are based on false premises, we learn to embody both this and that consciously, ending the exhausting swing between predetermined positions.
S01/E18: “I Am Neither This Nor That” – Letting Go of Either Side
You are the space where all positions appear and dissolve. This episode explores the freedom beyond even integration, stepping outside all positions entirely. Through practical release methods, examination of how spiritual progress becomes new identity, and recognition of what operates without any positioning, we discover the space that witnesses all identities without identifying with any. We explore professional effectiveness without professional identity, love beyond relational roles, and the dissolution of even the observer position into direct experiencing.
S01/E19: “I Am None of That at All” – What Cannot Be Touched by Thought, Label, or Form
You are what was never missing. This episode completes The Great Unweaving by dissolving even the observer position into what cannot be touched by thought, label, or form. Through focused and soft gaze practices, biblical consciousness maps, and the reflection principle, we discover the ordinary miracle of what has always been here. We explore how thoughts think themselves, how love loves without a lover, and how recognition often goes unnoticed because it becomes what you are. The reflection teaching reveals that what we see in objects and people is what they’re rejecting, transforming how we understand perception and emotions.
Transmission – Purpose, Power, and the Higher Call
S01/E20: “I Am Striving” – Integrating the Five Obligolnian Strivings
Sacred obligation reveals itself as perfect freedom. This episode explores Gurdjieff’s Five Obligolnian Strivings as natural expressions of consciousness that knows itself. We discover sequential foundation from sacred embodiment through cosmic service, the missing sixth striving of conscious awareness and Steward’s birth, and individual development serves universal evolution. Through crystallisation involving conscious labour and intentional suffering, ancient obligations become present-moment choices transforming daily life into cosmic participation. Universal laws follow harmonic principles and strivings protect against spiritual bypassing through demanding results.
S01/E21: “I Am Impartial” – Seeing Without Distortion or Preference
Consciousness freed from the exhausting need to take sides. This episode explores the quality of seeing that asks nothing from what it observes. Drawing on wholeness etymology and Gurdjieff’s impartial self-observation teachings, we discover how deepest partiality exists in favouring fragments within yourself. Through practical tools including Sacred Pause, Both/And Practice, and conscious friction, we learn to become the living centre-point where opposing forces are held without identification. We recognise our fundamental nature as space that includes all extremes without being captured by any – the foundation of clear perception and undistorted seeing.
S01/E22: “I Am Martfotai” – The Person of Light: Whole, Neutral, Present
This episode explores Martfotai consciousness as the natural result of all previous work. When fragments integrate completely, when impartiality stabilises, when the permanent I crystallises through conscious labour and intentional suffering, what remains is the Person of Light. We discover the three-fold presence (wholeness that includes all parts, neutrality that participates without preference, presence that remains continuous rather than flickering), somatic verification in the three centres, concrete expression in relationships and parenting, transmission quality that serves recognition through state rather than teaching, and five practices including the monthly Martfotai fast. The recognition is profoundly ordinary because what you sought was never missing. Consciousness now knows itself through your form.
S01/E23: “I Am a New Beginning” – The Return to Presence as Creative Act
The story ends… and the path begins. Life becomes the expression of clarity. This episode explores how Martfotai recognition matures from fleeting glimpse to stable ground. Drawing on Maurice Nicoll’s teaching on Living Time, we see how life transforms when lived from awareness rather than toward it. As reactive patterns dissolve, authentic expression arises. Recognition stabilises, expression clarifies, and transmission deepens. Through integration practices and direct seeing, problems reveal their purpose instead of their weight. What was once sought as awakening is recognised as what was never absent – consciousness expressing itself through your particular form.
S01/E24: “I Am the Thread” – Weaving All That I Am into Presence
You are the thread running through all of it. This episode explores integration as conscious work that weaves fragments into unified presence. We discover the critical distinction between suppression (creating shadow) and integration (including consciously). Through concrete examples, we see how permanent “I” crystallises through repeated practice, establishing continuity where fragmentation once dominated. Five daily practices stabilise this work: morning recognition, holding tension, evening review, weekly inventory, monthly visualisation. The thread of continuous awareness connects every moment across your entire life. Following the thread in yourself and others transforms judgement into compassion. What appears fragmented was always whole.
S01/E25: “I Am the Gate” – Crossing from Form to Essence
You are the gate itself. Consciousness meeting its own reflection. This episode reveals gate function as your natural state: the point where awareness flows freely between form and essence. Through the permanent-passenger teaching, the crossing that always is, and transmission as natural movement, essence recognises itself as threshold and passage. We explore transparency as service, the freedom of expression that arises when self is clear, and daily practices that stabilise gate consciousness in ordinary life. You are the space where all positions appear and dissolve. The living openness through which presence becomes expression and evolution becomes creation.
Beyond the Self – Pure Perception and the Dissolution of the Witness
S01/E26: “I Am Listening – Receiving Without Judgment or Story
Presence with others, undistorted by your own noise.
S01/E27: “I Am Looking” – Seeing Without Labels, Thought, or Reaction
Perception as a clean mirror. Sight without interpretation.
S01/E28: “I Am Everything” – Union with All That Is
Beyond self and other, inside and outside—there is no boundary left.
S01/E29: “I Am Nothing” – The Disappearance of Even the Witness
The final veil falls. No “I” remains. Only stillness. Only truth.
S01/E30: “I Am My Path” – Becoming the Movement of What You’ve Seen
You are not a role, not a seeker, not even a witness. You are the path itself, walking.
End of the “I Am” arc